Necrotongue

I'm absolutely certain that the creators of this film were trying to convey something truly important. However, they did it in such a heavy-handed way that the strangely kaleidoscopic plot essentially lost my interest. The only strong, emotionally charged impression I took away from the whole affair was how utterly enchanting Carla Gugino looked here. The movie was powerful in that regard, but I think its original goal was something completely different. I don't know what it was, I'm not going to go looking for it, and I'm a bit dismayed at how many talented actors it took to create something so lackluster. / Lesson learned (For fans of Carla Gugino): Beauty is worth a hundred minutes of suffering.

Movies from Sandler's Happy Madison Production are known for their various moral messages, which lower the already weak quality of each film. This case was no exception. The script was particularly weak, so not even Colin Hanks and Emma Stone, actors I actually like, could save the situation. Maybe I'd be more generous in my rating if I were a fan of Playboy, but I've always been in Bob Guccione's camp, so I was more of a Penthouse guy. But I don't want to be a complete grump and killjoy, so I have to appreciate that the film taught me to notice the clink when someone drops a dollar, and how to not overstuff myself with Mahi Mahi when I can make do with just Mahi. / Lesson learned: Cats have sharp claws.

Oh dear, so many familiar names and such a lackluster outcome... First of all, this was hardly a horror film because the creators tried to scare me with jump scares that would only work on kids at a summer camp. Honestly, I can't even pin down the genre of this movie; to me, it felt like a mishmash of everything the creators had ever seen on screen, and it didn't quite gel. I don't have the highest opinion of Canadian cinema (with some exceptions), and this movie certainly didn't improve my view. / Lesson learned: When you're about to get in bed with someone, check their pulse first.

It's pretty clear that the target audience for this film is women, but I actually had a good time with it. Sure, it's no masterpiece; it's just another straightforward romantic comedy. However, there's a lot more humor here than heavy-handed romance, so I didn't have the same unpleasant experience as I did yesterday with Take Me Home Tonight. Here, I found the story quite enjoyable, and the main character was likable precisely because she wasn't that dry, uptight type. Even though I didn't feel the urge to laugh until my sides split, I had a smile on my face the whole time. / Lesson learned: 'Good' advice from those around you can turn into quite a nightmare.

Any attempt at humor in this movie was immediately stifled by numerous pseudo-romantic clichés, the story was terribly predictable, and for a comedy, it was quite a snooze. I might throw a star just for Chris Pratt because he was convincingly simple-minded, and for Michelle Trachtenberg for purely personal reasons. / Lesson learned: Ashamed of your profession? Remember, even a bookseller can live a life full of adrenaline.

A juvenile comedy where the creators also squeezed in romantic elements, so it was inevitable to hit those worst, time-worn clichés. The humor often bordered on tasteless, leading to some cringeworthy moments. However... Despite all my criticisms, I found myself chuckling quite often, or at least smiling goofily, because it was actually pretty fun. Simple, straightforward, undemanding, predictable fun, and I'd be a hypocrite if I rated it lower than three stars. / Lesson learned: Never, never, never, never, never try for a surprise return home. At least make a call.

Stumbling upon an American film about a serious illness and not being flooded by melodrama is such a remarkable event that it deserves proper recognition. The screenplay was excellent in how it managed to weave a fairly down-to-earth story with a decent dose of humor against the backdrop of drama (sometimes tragedy), allowing me to have an exceptionally good time. Moreover, I could easily relate to the main character because even though my situation is different in terms of diagnosis, the reactions of those around me were unfortunately very similar. Even today, I react extremely irritably to certain words, phrases, or expressions because a person can only handle a certain amount of empty words, which are seen as suitable for a specific situation. I just wish the ending was a bit more realistic. / Lesson learned: If you try, everything will be like it used to be. - Oh, come on! Be realistic.

Michael Connelly is my favorite author. And that's ironically bad news for this film. I revisited it precisely because I finally got to the book it's based on, and the film didn't come out on top in this comparison. Let's start with the casting. While Matthew McConaughey was a good choice for the role of Michael Haller, Ryan Phillippe (although I have nothing against him) didn't fit at all as his adversary. I understand the screenwriter had to deviate from the source material (otherwise, it would have to be a series), but at the same time, the story lost its compactness, and a lot of things were rushed through, which didn't do justice to the logic of the plot. The film wasn't bad, but it just doesn't quite hold up to the book, so three stars will have to do. / Lesson learned: Want to be a priest or a lawyer? Learn to keep quiet.

There are moments when I expect very little from a film, and it's downright tragic when I get even less. American Dreamz is precisely such a movie. I have absolutely no idea how so many familiar names ended up here. Well, that's a lie, I know. The screenplay was one big mess from start to finish, filled with humor I didn't feel like laughing at, and both the "story" and characters were completely forgettable. It was the kind of film that would have been better off staying within the borders of the United States because that's where it might find more fans. One star mainly for the masks, because Willem Dafoe :-) / Lesson learned: Even famous actors can't do much without a quality script.

It wasn't a bad film; the premise intrigued me, the cast was solid, and if the creators hadn't used so many clichés and melodramatic moments, I would have been a satisfied viewer. As it stands, I'm somewhat disappointed, but I did enjoy the original idea and Sienna Miller was sexy even in moments of advancing decay. / Lesson learned: If someone seems unpleasant on the outside, don't kiss them. Imagine the horror that must be on the inside.