Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

Nummer zwei ist genauso dumm Nummer eins, aber dann ist da Amell (Arrow-Fans werden applaudieren), es gibt die Lichtbogenmaschine mit Krang (ich applaudiere) und das war's dann auch schon wieder, denn Bebop und Rocksteady sind wirklich Bösewichte, die nur in Zeichentrickfilme gehören. (20.06.2016)

Actually, I don’t know what else I was expecting. It was late at night, the twenty-first of May, and I didn’t want to go to sleep, and this was the only alternative which could possibly keep me awake. Well… For today’s kids, it will probably be an action ride, but I was done with that endless digital. They could have made the film like a cartoon and it would not harm it at all. An exemplary case of how I liked the old cartoon Ninja Turtles but can’t stand the today’s versions. The older I get, the more I feel that new remakes of old fairy tales are getting on my nerves more and more. And I have to add that Megan Fox didn’t save this film at all! (25.03.2017)

Basically like part one + the annoying Tyler Perry. Infantile humor works. Rocky and Bob are good and demented and Krang and Technodrom have undergone a likeable modern update. Fox is still the artificial ham she always was. Jones pissed me off - a casting fail. But the action in Brazil is a childhood dream come true. (18.12.2016)

Like every proper mega-franchise, Ninja Turtles does not have only one form, but rather a range of variations that are suitable for different target groups. Though a number of people associate the turtles with the children’s television series, there is also the broadest spectrum of spin-offs in the field of comic books that incline toward underground impertinence and utterly adult splatter variants such as the brawny Bodycount. And then there are the feature-film incarnations of Ninja Turtles, which for some reason are condemned to be unhinged bizarro-movies. The trio of nineties live-action cringe-fest features are boldly backed up in this respect by the new flicks from the production company Platinum Dunes. Besides the disturbing CGI design of the turtles, which balances on the edge of the principles of caricature and the uncanny valley, the most terrifying aspect of this film is the incomprehensible harmony between the ethos and aesthetics of the production company’s owner, Michael Bay. The childishness of the CGI/live-action Turtles is not the result of targeting underage viewers, but has the form of the insipid infantility of immature middle-aged men with fat wallets who live in an illusory version of reality woven from men’s lifestyle magazines packed with cookie-cutter models and toys for big boys. Just as the old live-action trilogy represented the essence of the most embarrassing and campiest aspects of the 1990s (including Vanilla Ice), the new films offer up a bizarre example of the most frenzied and stupid elements of the current mainstream. Notably, they do not reach the level of the gluttonous nature of Bay’s own films or his finesse as a craftsman. Thus, unlike Bay’s works, they are not engaging through their silliness, but only try in vain to copy the master’s superficial trademarks. As one watches this mess of rushed animated action sequences interspersed with half-details of magazine-worthy faces and stylised shots of cars, the question of who the filmmakers had in mind as the audience constantly creeps into one’s mind. (27.10.2018)

Even more retro than we hoped. Krang is overflowing with slime, The Shredder returns, assisted by Doctor Stockman, and Casey Jones also gets a few hits in. Summer 2016 has favored my childhood loves, and after Tarzan, the Turtles also get another chance, returning in an even better form, despite the convoluted plot. They have a car, they have enthusiasm, they have April, and they are still a great source of fun. I'm no longer six, so I have to reluctantly restrain my excitement, but when a new (yet perfectly respectful) version of the most legendary theme song ever started playing during the closing credits, I was on the verge of genuine emotion. If you loved the turtles and wanted to experience that feeling again, you're in the right place with this movie. (09.07.2016)