Necrotongue

There are moments when I expect very little from a film, and it's downright tragic when I get even less. American Dreamz is precisely such a movie. I have absolutely no idea how so many familiar names ended up here. Well, that's a lie, I know. The screenplay was one big mess from start to finish, filled with humor I didn't feel like laughing at, and both the "story" and characters were completely forgettable. It was the kind of film that would have been better off staying within the borders of the United States because that's where it might find more fans. One star mainly for the masks, because Willem Dafoe :-) / Lesson learned: Even famous actors can't do much without a quality script.

It wasn't a bad film; the premise intrigued me, the cast was solid, and if the creators hadn't used so many clichés and melodramatic moments, I would have been a satisfied viewer. As it stands, I'm somewhat disappointed, but I did enjoy the original idea and Sienna Miller was sexy even in moments of advancing decay. / Lesson learned: If someone seems unpleasant on the outside, don't kiss them. Imagine the horror that must be on the inside.

I'm really glad that the second season didn't lag behind the first (it was even better), and once again it brought me a solid dose of disgust on the levels of family, corporate, and political dynamics. The twisted part of my personality came to the forefront again, and sensitive viewers should steer clear of this series like a priest avoids a brothel. From the perfect main musical motif, through the excellent script, to the fantastic performances of all the Roy family members, I was very satisfied and I'm looking forward to more. / Lesson learned: Before watching, make sure you have a bathtub or shower ready, you'll need it. 4*+

In the finale of the second season, the creators went all out. The boat trip was quite a blast. A luxury yacht, the sea, and an excursion into the dark corners of the human mind, what more could I ask for? At times, I felt like a fan at the World Championships in backstabbing; Brutus could learn a thing or two. A great ending to an awesome season. / Lesson learned: Before setting sail, realize there's nowhere to run.

I love American Senate hearings. They're so wonderfully transparent, all about democracy and justice with no ulterior motives. The episode was entertaining, even though it didn't reach the heights... well, more like depths, of some of the more intense episodes. / Lesson learned: In trouble? Sacrifice someone.

I enjoyed the behind-the-scenes intrigue despite the calmer pace this time. When you find yourself in hostile territory, it's wise to watch your back. But what to do when you're surrounded by a crowd of people and there's nothing but open space with not a single wall to lean against? I imagine it's akin to an Australian surfer taking a spill, realizing he's bleeding, the shore still a distance away, and those eerie shadows passing beneath the surface... / Lesson learned: Always attend family gatherings armed. Just to be safe.

The seventh episode was decent overall, but for my taste, it felt a bit too calm. Except for Kendall (who brought it on himself) nobody showed any suicidal tendencies after suffering a life trauma. Sure, hopes were dashed, the family was still dysfunctional, but I felt like the creators allowed for a lighter episode to avoid therapy. / Lesson learned: Is your dad unapproachable? Talk to your mom.

What a ride. Not even movies where rooms are painted with the bodily fluids of various unfortunate souls give me the urge to take a shower afterward like some episodes of this show. This was a seriously intense family-business experience. Even though it unfolded in a luxurious setting with nobody losing their life, it had a far more chilling atmosphere at times than many a "horror" flick. / Lesson learned: Watch out for surprises.

This time around, the creators gave me everything I felt was missing last time, so the Roy family was once again a living testament to why therapists and psychologists thrive in the United States. The meeting of both families was surely a pure delight for any cynical viewer, and the content of the relationship-emotional cesspool eerily gurgled once again. Yep, boredom definitely isn't on the menu with this series. / Lesson learned: Corpses don't get wet.

The episode seemed quite restrained compared to the rest of this season so far. It was pretty bland and just lacked that spark on the company side and, to my disappointment, even on the family level. Up until now, the show was getting better with each episode, but now there's this sudden dip, so I'm not sure what to expect. / Lesson learned: Want to experience panic? Try the Panic Room.