Necrotongue

Trent's Last Case is a solid detective film. The interesting cast was a highlight, but what really impressed me was how the filmmakers approached the story in a not-so-traditional way. They had me completely fooled — I didn't have a clue whether it was murder or suicide until the final reveal. Compared to modern crime stories, which often feel predictable, this 72-year-old classic managed to keep me on my toes. While I could overlook a lot, there were some gaps in the logic of the official investigation that held me back from giving it a higher rating. Overall, though, it was an enjoyable watch. / Lesson learned: Some cases that seem straightforward can turn out to be anything but. 3*+

This film feels like a quintessential example of a British stage play brought to life on screen. It doesn't try to hide its theatrical roots — most of the action takes place in a single room with the townspeople coming and going, which is something I don't mind at all (as long as the acting doesn’t become overly theatrical). My main issue, however, was that the filmmakers didn’t really work to maintain any sense of mystery. When it’s obvious just a few minutes in who the prime suspect is, it’s hard to feel any real suspense. And a crime story without tension just falls flat for me. So, despite my usual love for stage-to-screen adaptations and British mysteries, this one didn’t quite hit the mark. By the way, that noise-making contraption in the film? I had one as a kid too, and I’m willing to bet my parents deeply regretted ever giving it to me. / Lesson learned: Not all surprises make for good gifts, especially when they’re handmade.

M3GAN was pretty underwhelming. It didn’t bring anything new to the table, especially if you’ve already seen Chucky, Terminator, or RoboCop. Calling it a horror movie feels like a stretch, though I’ll admit, if I stumbled upon those two girls unexpectedly, I’d probably jump. The android is actually less creepy than her human counterpart, Cady. Violet McGraw has a face with serious horror potential — maybe one day she’ll land a role that fully taps into that and turns her into the stuff of nightmares. I couldn’t really wrap my head around Gerard Johnstone’s choice to make M3GAN do those odd, “cool” moves — twice. In the end, the movie was neither scary, original, nor particularly fun... It was just kind of "meh." / Lesson learned: Terminator may be an ’84 classic, but it’s clear people still haven’t grasped its core message.

I went into this film with zero expectations — honestly, I wasn’t sure if it would even satisfy a casual viewer, let alone anyone with more refined tastes. But, surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I feared (though I’m almost tempted to slap myself for saying that). This is the kind of movie where you need to shut down most of your brain cells just to get on the same wavelength as the creators. The plot is pretty basic and predictable, and I started feeling a bit of a letdown early on. But then, to my surprise, the pace picked up, and while it never really engaged my brain, it did keep me from getting bored. Let’s be real, it’s a ridiculous film through and through, but it’s saved by its relentless pacing and the fact that Halle Berry, even now, looks fantastic (though I couldn’t quite buy her as a sixteen-year-old Japanese kid). Neither she nor Mark Wahlberg has ever sparked strong feelings in me one way or the other, so I managed to sit through this without too much pain. I wasn’t bored, but I wouldn’t go as far as to recommend it to anyone either. / Lesson learned: It’s not the heights that scare me, it’s the depths. 3*-

Well, this was a surprise! I went into this expecting to be let down, as I often am with horror movies, but I ended up genuinely enjoying it. Sure, I wouldn’t have minded a bit more gruesome detail. But I get it — the filmmakers were going for atmosphere over gore, and they mostly nailed it. The tension was solid, the young lead was tolerable, and it was great to see Lizzy Caplan and Antony Starr again. The main villain definitely had a bit of that Eastern horror vibe, but it worked for me. After a long time, I found myself actually enjoying a horror film, and I had no hesitation in giving it four stars. / Lesson learned: When you need to demolish something, get some strong Black women with fireplace pokers.

I was in the mood for an action-packed movie, and that’s exactly what I got, complete with all the usual tropes. The writer-director didn’t bring anything groundbreaking to the table — the story was predictable, filled with clichés that made the plot twists feel more laughable than surprising. That said, I have to give credit to the impressive choreography of the action scenes, which is something Asian cinema often excels at. It’s a shame the characters weren’t more fleshed out, leaving them feeling rather one-dimensional. But, I got what I came for: a straightforward action flick that delivered the entertainment I was looking for. So, while I can’t rave about it, I can’t complain too much either. It’s a solid three-star experience. / Lesson learned: If you want to see South Koreans handle nations with whom they've had rocky relations, this one's for you.

I made a rookie mistake with this one. After watching a few solid Korean crime films recently, I decided to dive into another, this time with a crime-espionage plot. I overlooked that this was also a comedy. And from the start, it played out like a typical Korean comedy — which, for me, was pretty rough. Korean humor is on a completely different wavelength from European humor, and I sometimes struggle with even European comedies, so this was like hitting a wall. The actors were wildly over-the-top, exaggerating in a way that clearly appeals to the local audience, but it didn’t do much for me. The script was packed with absurdities, from the plot to the dialogue, and the antics of Agent “Housewife” and the cop “Second Best in All of Asia” just didn’t resonate with me. Still, I’ve seen worse. / Lesson learned: Avoid shooting at a sewage truck.

I ended up giving this series four stars, though the fourth one feels a bit shaky. The show stirred up such conflicting emotions in me that I almost felt like I was becoming schizophrenic. On one hand, I’m definitely against people taking justice into their own hands. On the other, I could see the appeal of bringing back some medieval punishments for crimes like rape. So while I was bothered by who was killing and how, I couldn’t help but admit that an eye for an eye felt pretty fair. Like I said, a bit of a mental tug-of-war. 4*-

The Swedish creators wrapped up the story, sparing us the all-too-common frustration of waiting a year for a drawn-out continuation. But to be honest, I expected more from the finale. It didn’t deliver anything that a somewhat perceptive viewer couldn’t have already figured out, and the whole conclusion just sort of fizzled out for me. / Lesson learned: If you're planning a life of crime, Sweden might just be your best bet.

It seems like the creators are setting the stage for a big finale, but the issue is that I can already see where it’s headed, leaving the potential punishment as the only real unknown. I get the feeling the series wouldn’t hold my interest as much if it focused solely on Stella, but truth be told, I’m watching mainly for her parents — they’re absolutely fantastic. / Lesson learned: If you’re going to jail, make sure it’s in Sweden.