J*A*S*M

It’s hard to believe that in 2016 someone would seriously try to be scary with the ghost of an abandoned child, without bringing to it anything more than the most stupid dialogues by the most stupid characters and the even more stupid, weak and helpless twist with which any horror movie could end. Though it does have something interesting, that a happy end for one side it’s not a happy end for the other, but the film should have worked it out completely differently in order to have any emotional effect.

The Aokigahara Forest caused visions not only to the main character of this film, but also to me, the viewer. While the screen was showing an average, unambitious American horror film, what I saw was mainly the squandered potential and the fog-shrouded, excellent film that could be made on the basis of that place. But for that, Jason Zada would’ve had to try a little harder and build things on something more than several, and to a great extent cheap jump scares; to play with heavy paranoia, anxiety and insecurity. Or to al least find a somewhat scarier place, because the pine forest they’ve used is actually antiscary. Even that would be enough, see for example the recent The Hallow or The Witch. But, even though I’m rather critical, the horror year of 2016 could have begun a lot worse. This is just about nothing. Watched, standard, carry on.

A pretty interesting project by ČT. It has some conceptual issues with regards to the choice of participants (though, the producer, Zlatušková, has admitted that the name “Golden Youth” was chosen during post-production), but the result is worthy of some attention, since I’m already reluctant to use more positive adjectives. The participants can be quite annoying (but then, most people would be if they had to put up with the crap the staff of ČT had prepared for them), but sometimes they also manage to surprise with some of their more intense moments.

I don’t know what’s more painful, to watch the moron of Klus, who in everything he does tries to pretend he has some talent, or Jan Svěrák, who in his latest films has tried to pretend that he hasn’t got any talent.

As a début, Anguish shows that the director knows how to lead actors, create atmospheric scenes and set the mood with the soundtrack. He also knows how to write a script with a fairly smart plot arc, with high potential for an intense emotional outcome. He is able to take on the horror theme of possession from untraditional angle. He knows all of that, but the result is still terribly boring. Objectively, Anguish deserves some praise, but subjectively, the film didn’t do it for me, even if I’m usually more generous than others towards similar indie genre movies. It is promising, and I’m looking forward to the next film by Mallhi. This time, however, the thumb will have to remain horizontal.

Krampus isn’t what I was dreaming of when the project was announced, but even the way it is, it’s not able to reach to the TOP. Which doesn’t mean that it is a bad movie. This time, Dougherty has done with Christmas the same he did a couple of years ago with Halloween, a nice and atmospheric horror comedy, where the humour, as well as the fear and the tension are effective in each of the sequences. But it’s just not completely outstanding in any way. If it’d stayed only with Krampus and his elves, it would have been better, IMHO. The living gifts are more or less cool, but the bloody living gingerbread men are already too much. And I was also surprised with how fast everything ends. In a only couple of minutes about half the characters are reduced in uninteresting ways, to the point that I felt as if the creators already wanted to get rid of them, but didn’t feel like writing another twenty minutes of script. 70% and I would love to see a gritty German Alpine prequel.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, alias Philippe Petit, is head-to-head with the dog of the Kofola ads in the competition for the most annoying media character of 2016. I was hoping he would fall.

I wasn’t expecting this to be the sequel of a pretty well-known book :) Anyway, interesting stuff and finally a pinch of originality in the dark genres (I’m intentionally not saying horror), and especially with regards to the atmosphere. He Never Died has a mood that’s significantly different from the other films I’ve seen this year, and that deserves praise. A big part of that lies on the leading character performed by Henry Rollins, who, though by no means likeable enough to have a chat with, has more charisma than anyone could ask for.

I’m sorry, but this wasn’t good. I liked the first Villmark very much – Skjutl was scary at times, but he was limited by the script – but in the sequel, Pål Øie delivers only solid visuals and the attractive setting of an abandoned psychiatric hospital. I honestly believe that this film was made because the creators found a scary building, went there on a one-week holiday with a bunch of actors (half of them would play victims, the other half ghosts) and, without any thought, wit, purpose or script filmed SOMETHING in one go. In short, the second Villmark is a mind-numbing, aimless walkabout through an abandoned building that was shot with professional equipment, i.e. it looks nice at first sight, but it soon becomes clear that nobody bothered too much with the more important things. My God! It wasn’t even atmospheric, which in a setting like that it’s an achievement. I wanted to scream hilfe (another thing: those shuffled letters, I’d really love to know in what moment the viewers are supposed to put them together according to the creators).

It’s colourful and brisk, it doesn’t need the brain to be turned on, and for every half good joke, there’s one or two pubertally embarrassing ones; the kids will be satisfied. It’s bearable, which is the best I can say about it. But what really got me was the part where, after fighting zombies for one hour, two of the team members get into another loud fight with zombies in the ground floor, and then, when other two members of the team come down from the first floor, they ask what the hell happened. They were dancing, moron. This is the moment that best describes the film. And not, it wasn’t a well timed joke. For me, a weak three or a stronger two, clickable either way.